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The Supernatural Could Be to Blame

4/10/2009

by Christine Cartafalsa

Four games so far... one win pulled out from the tookas and three pathetic losses. One could over-analyze what is going on (or isn't for that matter) or one could look beyond physical science and explore the possibilities that the cause of the Phillies lack of quality starts is actually supernatural.

Case in point: The curse of Billy Penn was supposedly lifted with the 2008 win, but that doesn't mean that another curse hasn't taken its place. I've taken some time off from being serious to investigate the following theories as to what could be wrong right now...

The Humpty Dumpty Effect
Because Liberty Place blocked William Penn's view of the sports complexes, the brains behind the Comcast Center decided to adorn the top of the Comcast Tower with a small replica of the statue on City Hall. It seemed to do the trick last year, but has anyone been up to the roof to check on it?

Maybe somebody should. There have been some very windy days in Philadelphia! Did Billy "have a great fall"?

The Bizarro World
The Phillies came unto the world of baseball in 1883, but couldn't bring a winner home until 1980. The team then experienced another drought until 2008. Tug McGraw threw the last strike of the 1980 World Series and he wore number 45. Brad Lidge threw the last strike of the 2008 series and he wears number 54. Coincidence?

This is a very big possibility. We're all holding our breaths for a repeat title, but in reality we should maybe just enjoy the one we had. It might not be until 2080 that the Phillies can win it all again. Don't be mad at them. Be mad at the people who got to enjoy both series titles.

Elvis Has Left the Building
Pat Burrell has left and he took Elvis with him. Animals are known for their sixth sense. Perhaps Elvis was more than a lovable pile of fur and wrinkles? It wouldn't be the first time an animal has cursed a baseball team. After all, the Cubs are still trying to win the forgiveness of a goat. Does this mean that the grounds crew will have to start walking the offspring of Elvis around the park before a game?

Let's hope not. Pat Burrell was good to us and we all loved him right back. But for our sake, I sure hope Elvis wasn't snipped.

The Phantom of the Ballpark
Just days after riding around the warning track in a fancy car in front of the biggest, happiest crowd he ever did see, former 3rd base coach Steve Smith was given his pink slip. His successor, Sam Perlozzo who wears number 2, hasn't had a lot to do in his new position since the Phillies haven't rounded third that much so far.

Another possibility. Is Steve Smith lurking in the shadows with half a catcher's mask on and a dark cape? Is he rowing young, beautiful anthem singers in a canoe using a baseball bat as a paddle? All I know is that ever since Perlozzo put on that number 2, the Phillies sure have been playing like number 2.

The Pen is Mightier than the Bat

Christine doesn't like to blow her own horn, but the fact of the matter is that the first year she began following the Phillies, they made it to the playoffs. The second year they won the World Series. Instead of watching the games so far, Christine's fingers have been sprinting across notebook pages in a bizarre, cramped form, producing unintelligible scribbles that only she can decipher as she tries her luck at sports writing. Alas, she has yet to sit and actually enjoy a game this season. Maybe she needs to put her pen down and just be a fan again...

Oh, come on guys!
You decide. The polls are open.